no, i'm just fat
This is required viewing. For everyone.
For the record, I am 195 and 5'2". I am fat.
But you know what? I'm through giving a shit about it. I eat generally well, compared to even a lot of skinny people I know. I am not a couch potato (admittedly, I'm not as active in the winter, but neither are a lot of people). I'm actually healthy, and my doctor will vouch for that if you ask her. And despite all that, I'm 195. It's just a number. It's not the end of the world. In fact, far from it.
Like Joy, my quality of life has not suffered because I'm fat. I've been married twice (and the divorces had nothing to do with my fatness). I've had boyfriends and lovers like whoa - a few times, several at a time, men fighting for my attention like I was Angelina Jolie or something. I've had decent jobs. I've had - and still have - some of the best friends a girl could want, and who have always involved me in their major life events (like weddings), regardless of my size. I go hiking, and camping, and scramble all over the place in hard-to-get-to places to take pictures of nature's beauty. I've traveled. In fact, my size hasn't stopped me from doing anything that I've wanted to do. I could go on and on, but the point is this: how much of this happened when I was thin?
None of it.
More and more, I'm finding myself not just accepting my size, but liking it. I take up space. (And indeed, a thin friend, some time ago, said that she wished she took up more space, making a bigger impression on the world around her.) I'm a big, colorful presence, and you. will. notice. me. Do I think I'm perfect? Not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. That's honest. So is this: not everyone who's fat is trying desperately to get thin!
Furthermore, I find it extremely insulting when people talk smack about a woman who's fat, in my presence, and then backpedal when I call them on it, saying, "Well, you're not fat!" I'm not fat? Are you blind? Do you really think I'm that stupid? What kind of idiot are you?
A lot of us, us fat women, don't point that out because we're fishing for compliments.
We point it out because we want you to think about what you're saying, and stop being such a goddamn jerk.
Fat doesn't equal lazy, or stupid, or unlovable, or white trash, or whatever. It's an adjective. All it means is that I don't fit into some people's narrow little minds.
For the record, I am 195 and 5'2". I am fat.
Like Joy, my quality of life has not suffered because I'm fat. I've been married twice (and the divorces had nothing to do with my fatness). I've had boyfriends and lovers like whoa - a few times, several at a time, men fighting for my attention like I was Angelina Jolie or something. I've had decent jobs. I've had - and still have - some of the best friends a girl could want, and who have always involved me in their major life events (like weddings), regardless of my size. I go hiking, and camping, and scramble all over the place in hard-to-get-to places to take pictures of nature's beauty. I've traveled. In fact, my size hasn't stopped me from doing anything that I've wanted to do. I could go on and on, but the point is this: how much of this happened when I was thin?
None of it.
More and more, I'm finding myself not just accepting my size, but liking it. I take up space. (And indeed, a thin friend, some time ago, said that she wished she took up more space, making a bigger impression on the world around her.) I'm a big, colorful presence, and you. will. notice. me. Do I think I'm perfect? Not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. That's honest. So is this: not everyone who's fat is trying desperately to get thin!
Furthermore, I find it extremely insulting when people talk smack about a woman who's fat, in my presence, and then backpedal when I call them on it, saying, "Well, you're not fat!" I'm not fat? Are you blind? Do you really think I'm that stupid? What kind of idiot are you?
A lot of us, us fat women, don't point that out because we're fishing for compliments.
We point it out because we want you to think about what you're saying, and stop being such a goddamn jerk.
Fat doesn't equal lazy, or stupid, or unlovable, or white trash, or whatever. It's an adjective. All it means is that I don't fit into some people's narrow little minds.
Comments
Fuckin ace post!! (scuse the swearing!)
You look fab anyway, funky and fun! :)))
From a fat girl who hasn't quite figured out her place in the world... thank you for this. It's encouraging. :)
I'm 5'4" and 189 last I checked, with about your same measurements. I'm fat too. And this year, I think I'm buying a bikini. So there!
Like your friend I often wish I was bigger.
I vary about four sizes because women's clothing is like that. I have to try everything on. It's silly to get depressed about something so wacky and fickle like a size tag, even if you're scared of fat.
After years of dieting that didn't work, and beating myself up, and eating disorders, and hating who I am, it's only been in the past few months (admittedly, since losing my dad) that I've really thought about it and realized that my priorities are health and quality of life. As long as those 2 things are in place, I'm happy - or working on it. I'm declaring my independence from The Pursuit of a Perfect Body, that's all.
If my health or mobility suffers, will I lose weight? Absolutely. Will I ever diet again in vain attempts to reach that size 0 Holy Grail? Not a chance.
Do I care if other people do it? No way! I'm not anti-diet or anti-weight-loss. I'm anti-diet for me. :)
for the record im 5'6" and 259. im not totally healthy, mostly due to diabetes, but heck, i do my best. and like you said, who cares. i wasn't any different when i was skinny (but then again that was 1st grade *giggle*). at this point in my life i'm finally accepting myself to who i am. and going: to heck with what anyone else thinks. it takes a lot to get to that point though. so i also understand the people that are still dieting because they are scared of a number.
thank you so much for posting this :) :) *hugs*
A-fucking-MEN.
You are an inspiration dear :) xxx
P.S. You look fab anyways!!!!
[and true]
For the record: I'm always late and a total bitch.
loved the post. : )
When I watch that video I see a girl with a very beautiful face. I worked with a big girl some time back and she always had her hair done, her nails done and her lipstick on...you must use what you have. She always looked pretty to me and her personality had alot to do with it also...confidence...
I'm a skinny, skinny girl and what I wouldn't give to gain afew lbs!! I guess we need to be happier with ourselves, be better people and not worry so much about what anyone else thinks.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
You sooooooo ROCK!!
As far as I can tell, I may be the first guy to weigh in (*cough* sorry, the pun wasn't intended) here.
Like Sir Mix-A-Lot, I like big butts and I cannot lie. It is a sad commentary that today's society (at least, the younger generations) considers Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell ("full-figured" stars from the '50s) unattractively fat.
I won't deny that toned bodies *are* appealing, but I learned a number of years ago that even a 'pleasantly plump' girl can work it and still spark fire in a man's blood. Any thoughts of 'she's chubby' were quickly muscled out by, "damn, she's sexy"-- well dressed and exuding confidence and sex appeal. By the way, most guys would prefer models to have curves-- it's the designers that demand they be stick-thin. My motto: "better to have a rack and a trunk in the back."
Not surprisingly, neither I nor my wife are thin. I really have to remember that I want to trim down so clothes don't hurt, my energy rises a little more, and my back doesn't ache so much.
Sadly, although this is still considered a women's issue, it's slowly creeping up on guys-- some who will dope up and work out and come close to dying to get those six-pack abs, admiration from the ladies, glory in the sports arena-- or all of these things. Many are failing to realize guys generally don't starve themselves-- it's drugs and a fanatical and obsessive (and even dangerous) devotion to slavering exercise that is usually the rule. The voices of trainers telling men that bodybuilders and (gasp!) male models are not healthy examples are somewhat few, but they are out there.
Much props : )
Ditto Reesie. I've never been thin, personally, despite having played basketball and soccer in junior high and high school. And I never really cared to be more thin than I was. I have been too fat, fatter than was healthy, fatter than I felt comfortable with, but I have found that whatever weight I end up when I'm living a life I am happy and comfortable with is just fine, and I stay healthy and active. The key is to find the lifestyle I'm happy in, and my body follows. My husband would totally hate it if I lost my hips and other, erm, assorted fatty parts.
He, on the other hand, is way too thin and can't gain weight for the life of him, but that's another story.
Being fatter makes me sad. I feel like I have no energy and my clothes look like crap and don't fit and I look in the mirror and want to cry.
Saying this, I am 5ft 8 and have never really changed from a US size 8 so I've always been fairly in proportion. Being fatter than I am would destroy me.
Luckily I don't really have to diet, just eat sensibly - and thats the key thing. Most fat people eat too much.